Emotions
by Wonderful Failure
Summary: COMPLETE!!! The final chapter is *up*! It's a songfic chapter that's about Squall and Zell...I really like it. Plz r/r! Angst/Language/Lime/Yaoi
1. Broken Heart

Emotions  
  
Chapter One: Broken Heart  
  
The raven-haired girl walked slowly, her pink lips curving into a small smile. Her small feet walked steadily and quietly along the marble floor. Moonlight seeped in from open windows, bathing her ivory skin, giving her an ethereal appearance. Balamb Garden was so quiet at night…So quiet it was almost silent.  
  
"Squall," she whispered, dark eyes bold and daring, shining like onyxes in her heart-shaped face. "I've got to tell Squall!"  
  
A careful waltz turned into a desperate sprint as the dark-haired woman ran hastily around a curve in Garden's hall, her sky blue cape dancing like an afternoon sky behind her.  
  
"Squall!" She whispered loudly, wondering deeply if he could actually hear her.  
  
Her feet moved quickly along the shimmering floor. She was desperate to reach her lover. She had magnificent news for him.  
  
"Squall," she panted again, becoming tired after only a few feet of jogging. It was obvious why it took her so long to make it into SeeD. She didn't have any endurance, whatsoever.  
  
A tired walk evolved from her declining jog, and she miraculously made it up to the mysteroius swordsman's private dorm.  
  
Knocking slowly on the door, she hit the door quietly with her fist, not wanting to wake up any other student but Squall.  
  
"Squall?" she whispered loudly, standing on upright toes, peeking into the tiny peek hole.  
  
Frowning at the fact that she couldn't see a thing through the tiny peek hole, the porcelain-faced girl lowered her feet to her regular height, and then shook her head, raven hair flying out like a calm explosion of black feathers.  
  
"Come on, Squall! I know you're in there! Open up!" she called out impatiently, yet keeping her sweet voice oh so easily.  
  
Tilting her head to the side, she rose an eyebrow in bewilderment. She could hear small sounds coming from behind the closed door. Like muffled voices, and quiet foosteps.  
  
"Wha…?" she managed, shaking her head in utter confusion.  
  
Placing her ear up to the door, her small hands pressed up against the cold metal surface, giving her body good support while she desperately tried to listen into the strange noises coming from Squall's dorm.  
  
"Squall?" she called once more, desperate to hear his cold voice in response.  
  
"Coming," he called out dully.  
  
And so, the door flung open, and a surprisingly scantily clad Squall stood in the open doorway, a smile curving across his pale lips.  
  
"What's going on?" she asked him, threads of confusion sewing throughout her simple question.  
  
"Notta' damn thing," Squall said, shaking his head at nothing in particular. "So watcha' come by for? You got somethin' you needa' tell me?"  
  
She looked up at the stormy-eyed brunette, wondering exactly *why* she had come to visit him in the first place. It had to be at least one in the morning…Why did she come so late? Why was it so important?  
  
"Um…yes!" she managed, searching through her thoughts to find out what it really was she had to tell her lover.  
  
"Well…what is it?" he said in a smart tone, slyly degrading her.  
  
"Um…" the raven-haired girl thought for a moment, reaching deep into her very thoughts, desperate to find out what she had so desperately wanted to tell her boyfriend.  
  
Squall cocked his neck at an angle, his lean chest and stomach pale from the lack of sunlight he got. He let out a soft sigh, wondering why the dark-haired woman had even bothered to visit him in the middle of the night.  
  
"Oh!" she finally cried out, smiling beautifully. "It's Quistis! Ah, Instructor Trepe! She just called me a while ago! She told me the results of the SeeD exam I took today! I passed it! I got a 78 on it, Squall! I'm a SeeD now! Isn't that incredible?!"  
  
An expressionless look stood still on Squall's face. Finally, a lightning bolt of realization struck into his mind, and he forced a look of bliss to bleed from his snow-white face.  
  
"That's great, Rinoa!" he cried out, picking up the black-haired girl in a warm embrace.  
  
"Oh, yes it is, isn't it?! I mean…I'm a SeeD now! Me! Of all people! Just like…all of you!" Rinoa said, smiling cheerfully after they ended their friendly hug.  
  
"Yeah…" Squall trailed off, silently wishing that his happy-go-lucky lover would go back to her dorm.  
  
"So, what should we do to celebrate?" Rinoa asked innocently, waltzing rudely into his dorm. "Watch a video, go out for dinner tomorrow night? What do you think?"  
  
She turned to face him, a joyful smile spreading across her lips like a forest fire.  
  
He let out a heavy sigh.  
  
"…Whatever you want," he forced out, wincing at another lie he let escape.  
  
Why did he let himself go on? It had been going on for three months now. Sure, it wouldn't seem like that long to anyone else, but…Deep down, Squall *really* did care for Rinoa…He just didn't love her in a sexual way. Sure, he loved her for her carefree attitude, and for breaking his shell…But he just couldn't find himself to find her sexually desirable. He, in fact, was a homosexual…He had his eyes set on Seifer Almasy for quite some time, the two sharing a bittersweet romance off and on since their early teen years.  
  
"Are you feeling okay?" Rinoa asked in a sweet voice, her dark eyes shining like rare gems.  
  
"Fine," Squall lied, scoffing at the lies that spewed from his mouth like a fountain.  
  
"Are you sure?" Rinoa inquired, tilting her head at an angle, placing her hands steadily upon her hips.  
  
"Of course I'm sure," Squall replied, forcing a slow nod.  
  
"Well…if you insist," Rinoa managed, offering a small smile at the pale brunette.  
  
Squall simply stood there, nodding.  
  
Turning to leave, Rinoa walked steadily to the door, and turned to smile once more at her star-crossed lover.  
  
"I'll see ya' tomorrow!" Rinoa cried, and then prepared to jog back to her dorm, when she heard it. That single word.  
  
"Damn!"  
  
It wasn't Squall's voice…But it came from Squall's dorm. What the hell was going on?  
  
Turning to look at Squall, a look of hurt and fear crawled onto Rinoa's face. Her eyes were moist with tears, and her lips trembled softly.  
  
"What was that, Squall?" she managed, desperately fighting away the tears.  
  
"What was what?" Squall asked, a pale pink color coming over his cheeks. It was obvious that he was lying. He had been found out.  
  
"What was that voice, Squall?! Who said that?!" Rinoa cried, stomping angrily over to him, rage crawling over her porcelain face. Pure anger cut into her words like a hot knife into butter.  
  
"Who said what?" Squall managed, his eyes becoming wet with tears. He didn't want Rinoa to get angry with him.  
  
"Oh, forget it, Squall!" Rinoa cried, disgust leaping onto her statement, crashing disastrously into Squall, who never meant to hurt anyone. Innocent on the inside, he followed his body. He never wanted to hurt anyone…He was just too cowardly to sort things out in his life.  
  
Walking over to the area of his dorm from which Rinoa had heard the crude word, the raven-haired girl smiled angrily once she discovered a closet, which was slightly open in the bedroom area of Squall's dorm.  
  
"Aha," Rinoa said, steadily approaching the closet with quiet foosteps.  
  
Ignoring Squall's desperate pleas from behind her, the beautiful dark- haired woman reached for the door handle, and pulled the door open.  
  
Dark eyes turned from anger to shock at who she found in the closet.  
  
Seifer Almasy.  
  
He stood, half-naked in the closet, clad in nothing but navy blue boxers. He offered a small grin, and then shrugged at the stupidity of the situation.  
  
"I see," Rinoa said. She nodded, a gentle hand finding it's way to her face. "So it was you," she finally managed.  
  
"I'm sorry," Seifer offered in a truthfully sad voice.  
  
"You don't have anything to be sorry about. You just stole…him," Rinoa said, smiling a hurtful smile at the muscular blonde.  
  
Turning quickly, Rinoa ran from the bedroom and into the living room, where she found Squall sitting in the corner, his shoulders slumped over in emotional pain.  
  
He was crying.  
  
"It was Seifer!" Rinoa cried out dumbly at the tragic brunette, nodding desperately. "You cheated on me with the man you hate most!"  
  
Squall wouldn't stand up. He wouldn't dare do that. He wanted to sit in the corner, holding himself. He wanted to show Rinoa how pathetic he really was.  
  
"I'm sorry," Squall whispered.  
  
Ignoring his feeble apology, Rinoa lowered her voice slightly with her next question.  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Three months," Squall said through gritted teeth.  
  
"We really are sorry, Rinoa," Seifer said from behind her, coming into the living room while putting on a plain white T-shirt.  
  
"But why?" Rinoa managed, surprised at how well she handling the situation.  
  
"I'm gay," Squall said dumbly. "I've been gay…for a while now. I always just thought I was bi but…It just got too serious, ya' know? I mean, I just lost my attraction for women. But I…I really did love you. I loved your personality, and I loved you for helping me through the tough times. You broke my shell, Rinoa. You did."  
  
Seifer nodded. "He just didn't want to hurt you."  
  
"I see," Rinoa said, nodding weakly. "But of course I'm hurting. I spent allot of my life to you, Squall. I wouldn't have been hurt as bad if you would have just told me. Keeping this…keeping this all to yourself? That's just…stupid. I can't believe you'd do something like this to me. I thought you were so much smarter than that. But…I guess I was wrong all along. Wasn't I?"  
  
Squall just let out a soft sigh. He knew what Rinoa was saying. But she always wanted to be polite…Even if she was burning with anger. She was saying he was pathetic.  
  
"You deserve each other," Rinoa replied just before she left, just as a maelstrom of pain and sadness crushed her.  
  
Running away from the pain, Rinoa left Squall's dorm in a desperate haste, running down the empty halls of Garden like a screaming bullet heading at an unknown target. Her tears ran down her face like rivers, blurring her vision. Then Rinoa turned a sharp corner, and let out a sharp cry when she collided into a strong body.  
  
"Ah!" she cried out, preparing to fall down until two powerful hands grabbed her, steadying her emotionally frail body.  
  
"Rinoa?! Are you all right?"  
  
Looking up, Rinoa's tear-stained eyes lit up with a small hint of happiness. Yet, the pain was still there. There would always be a little bit of pain in her eyes. Squall had just broken off a piece of her heart. He had left her with a broken heart.  
  
"…Oh, Zell!" Rinoa managed, weak from all of her emotions.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	2. Lost In Blue Eyes

Chapter Two: Lost In Blue Eyes  
  
"What happened?" Zell asked, his strong hands moving from her arms to her shoulders. Rinoa looked up, taken aback by his beautiful blue eyes. She had never really looked into them. She was lost. Lost in blue eyes.  
  
Rinoa shook her head, her raven hair flowing in the soft breeze that came in through open windows. "It's…it's embarrassing, really."  
  
She offered a weak laugh. Zell scoffed at her obvious pain. She was trying to hide it from him. This he new.  
  
"Tell me," he said, helping her up from her uncomfortable position, sprawled out on the cold marble floor.  
  
"I…I can't," Rinoa mumbled, her simple words rich with modesty.  
  
Zell let out a soft sigh. His blue eyes looked at her. So calm, yet a fierce anger could be seen deep within them.  
  
Those beautiful, fierce blue eyes.  
  
"Please?" Zell managed, desperate to get through to his raven-haired friend.  
  
She flashed a feeble smile at the spiky-haired blond, and bowed her head slightly. "I just found out something."  
  
"About who?" Zell asked, cocking his neck to the side.  
  
"Squall," Rinoa said shortly.  
  
"Whatcha' find out?" Zell inquired in his adorable child-like accent.  
  
"He's gay," Rinoa whispered, barely loud enough for Zell to hear. "Him and Seifer are gay. They've been gay together for a while now. Off and on, they said. They said that they didn't want to hurt me. It's like I couldn't take it or something. That I was too weak."  
  
"You're not weak at all, Rinoa," Zell said, doing his best to heal the broken heart of his porcelain-faced friend.  
  
Rinoa offered a small smile, nodding slightly. "Thank you," she replied in a sweet voice.  
  
"Of course!" Zell said eagerly, flashing his fang-like canines at a broken-hearted Rinoa.  
  
"But…I'm still hurting," Rinoa murmured.  
  
"I understand," Zell replied, patting Rinoa gently on the back. Even though he was touching her oh so gently, she could feel his incredible strength screaming through his large hands. She nearly swooned in his heavenly touch.  
  
"I'll…I'll be fine," Rinoa whispered. "I can heal."  
  
"Of course you can," Zell said with a small smile. He wanted to help Rinoa cheer up. He hated seeing her so sad. Hell, he hated seeing *anyone* sad, for that matter.  
  
"I…I think I'll…be going now," Rinoa mumbled, not wanting to leave Zell.  
  
"You don't have ta' leave if ya' don't wanna'," Zell replied happily, flashing a grin at the beautiful dark-haired girl.  
  
"Thanks," Rinoa said, nodding. "But…but I…I guess I should. I mean, if I didn't go back to my dorm, then where would I go?"  
  
"If you wanna' talk about it, I'm here for you," Zell offered, closing in on the small distance between him and Rinoa.  
  
"…Thank you," Rinoa said, looking up at the powerful blonde.  
  
"Sure," Zell said with a smile.  
  
"Um…About your offer?" Rinoa managed, tugging at her silver pendant with her small hands.  
  
"Yeah?" Zell asked, tilting his head up in response.  
  
"I wanna' take it. I…I *do* wanna' talk about it. Um…but not here…" Rinoa forced, fighting the emotions that swelled within her broken heart.  
  
"I know," Zell replied, nodding. "We could go to the Secret Area if you want."  
  
The Secret Area. Oh thank Hyne for that beautiful place! The secret area, hidden by the depths of the Training Center…Those three, simple words were like music to her ears.  
  
"The Secret Area?" Rinoa repeated. "So…so nobody would be there?"  
  
"Nah," Zell replied. "All the students who sneak out after hours always end up back in their dorms by midnight."  
  
"I see," Rinoa said, nodding. "Well, shall we go?"  
  
"Yeah," Zell said, blue eyes bold and daring.  
  
She found herself once again, lost in those beautiful blue eyes.  
  
  
  
"Well, here we are," Zell said, panting slightly after a surprise battle with a T-Rexaur.  
  
Rinoa came in a few seconds later, wiping dropleats of sweat from her forehead. "Thank Hyne…I'm exhausted!"  
  
Zell nodded. "The T-Rexaurs seem to be getting stronger and stronger everyday. Before ya' know it they'll all overrun Garden."  
  
"That'd be bad," Rinoa said, smiling slightly.  
  
She felt so much better when around Zell. She almost forgot how her heart was broken. She almost forgot the fact that Squall was gay with Seifer.  
  
"Yeah," Zell breathed, shaking his head. He was exhausted. That T- Rexaur had been pretty strong, even to him. And he was easily the strongest fighter at Garden. He had done all the fighting in the battle. Rinoa merely summoned Carbuncle to keep their defenses up and cast a few Cure spells when needed.  
  
Heading over to the edge of the Secret Area, Zell reached at the thin sleeves of his black muscle shirt, pulled it over his head, and continued walking.  
  
With his sweaty shirt in his hand, he strode over to railing, and leaned on it.  
  
Rinoa stood, speechless. She looked in awe at his shirtless body. So many muscles…  
  
Swallowing a moan of awe, Rinoa walked slowly over to the railing, pacing herself. If she walked too closely she could look strange…Walking so fast, just after she had her heart tragically broken.  
  
"I…I guess we finally made it," Rinoa said, offering a smile once she ended up beside Zell.  
  
"Of course!" Zell said, grinning as he looked down at Rinoa.  
  
"So…where should I start?" Rinoa asked.  
  
Zell didn't know what Rinoa meant, and so he rose a pale eyebrow in confusion. He offered a shy smile, a pink color coming to his cheeks. She could tell he didn't have a clue as to what she meant. Letting out a small laugh, Rinoa touched his arm.  
  
"I'm talking about…you know…" Rinoa trailed off, removing her hand from his strong forearm.  
  
"I see," Zell said, nodding. His cheeks returned to their normal color, and his smile faltered. He knew exactly what she meant now. She was confiding her feelings in him. How Squall's homosexuality really effected her.  
  
"I…Well, I passed the SeeD Exam I took this afternoon. Instructor Trepe told me. She said I made a 78. I was so happy…So, naturally I wanted to tell Squall. And so I ran. I ran down the hall, and I kept on running. It seemed so close, yet so far away. And…and when I got there, I knocked. It took a while, but Squall finally answered the door. And…just by how he was acting, I could tell something was wrong. And just as I was leaving, I heard something. I heard someone's voice, and so I followed it. I ignored Squall, and then went into the bedroom. And in his closet, that's where I found him…"  
  
"Seifer?" Zell asked softly.  
  
"Seifer," Rinoa repeated, closing her eyes. The tears were swelling in her beautiful brown eyes. Not now. She couldn't cry now. Not in front of Zell.  
  
She felt a powerful hand touch her shoulder. Zell was comforting her. He was comforting her again.  
  
"It'll be okay," Zell said, nodding. "You shouldn't worry about it too much. I mean…there's plenty of fish in the sea."  
  
Yes, but you're the fish that I want, Rinoa thought.  
  
"Thank you," Rinoa whispered, opening her eyes as she felt Zell's hand moving from her shoulder to her cheek.  
  
He looked down at her with those beautiful blue eyes. Wiping at her tears, she smiled up at the handsome blonde.  
  
Her eyes traced the exotic tattoo on the left side of his face, and then found his gorgeous blue eyes. As deep as oceans, they shined beautifully in the soft moonlight.  
  
Kiss me, Rinoa begged silently.  
  
But he didn't. He removed his hand from her cheek, and smiled again. His blue eyes were so beautiful. She couldn't look away. It was as if they were grabbing her, turning her into a statuesque version of her former self.  
  
"Well…I guess you're feeling better?" Zell inquired, breaking the silence.  
  
"…Yes," Rinoa managed, suddenly sad at the fact that Zell didn't kiss her.  
  
"I'm glad," Zell said softly, smiling.  
  
Taking a step back, Rinoa forced a small smile. "I guess we should probably go now. We've been gone from our dorms for at least half an hour."  
  
"Yeah," Zell replied, nodding. "Well…here we go."  
  
Reaching for the moist black muscle shirt laying on the railing of the Secret Area, Zell pulled it over his head, and then flashed his canines at Rinoa.  
  
"Ya' ready?" Zell asked.  
  
Rinoa nodded, and then the two left the Secret Area to fight their way back through the Training Center.  
  
  
  
"You gonna' be all right?" Zell asked as he escorted Rinoa back to her dorm. "I mean…If you're insecure you can stay at my place. I'll sleep on the floor."  
  
"Thanks, but…but I think I'm fine. Really," Rinoa lied through a fake smile.  
  
I just don't trust myself in a bedroom alone with him, she thought intently.  
  
"Tch," Zell said with a smile. "I'm not a perve!"  
  
Laughing quitely, Rinoa nodded. "I know you're not Zell. And I thank you for that. But really, I'll be fine. See you tomorrow?"  
  
"Of course!" Zell said, grinning.  
  
"All right…Good night, Zell," Rinoa said, opening the door to her dorm and then smiling once more at her spiky-haired friend.  
  
"G'night," Zell said, holding up a hand at Rinoa as she walked into her dorm, and then slowly shut the door behind her.  
  
Walking into the moonlit entry hall, Rinoa walked into the restroom and then turned on the light. Turning, she looked into the mirror, smiling a sad smile at her reflection.  
  
"I'm lost," she whispered. An image of Zell's beautiful face entered her head, looking back at Rinoa, grinning with those adorable canines. "I'm lost in blue eyes…"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	3. Healing Wounds

Chapter Three: Healing Wounds  
  
"Rinoa," Zell whispered. "What the hell is up with you? Why were you…acting so strange around me last night?"  
  
Zell shook his head at his own thoughts.  
  
"Of course you'd be acting strange because of Squall, but…You just…you just acted so strange last night. Like you were attracted to me or somethin'. And if that's the case, it's a really bad idea. Of course I could never tell you why, but…It'd just be a bad idea."  
  
Looking at the thin tree, Zell forced a weak laugh.  
  
He threw a powerful fist through the air, crushing into the mossy bark of a thin tree. The Training Center was unusually quiet that morning. Looking down with beautiful blue eyes, he rose his pale eyebrows in surprise at how damaged the tree was. Shattered like a broken mirror, long splinters stuck out like razor-sharp spikes around his hand. He had nearly broken it in half with a simple punch. Carefully removing his hand from the broken tree, Zell rubbed his fist gently, not wanting to make it any sorer than it already was.  
  
"Aaah…" he gasped when he touched a particularly tender spot in his hand.  
  
He unstrapped his right glove, and then slid it off with his left hand. Shoving it into a deep pocket, Zell took a good look at his hand.  
  
A few red scratches lined his knuckles, while a large reddish-purple bruise began to swell right above his second knuckle, where he had placed most of his strength in the punch that wounded his hand.  
  
"Shit…" Zell mumbled, unpleased at how he had hurt his hand even with gloves on. "I guess I'm stronger than I thought. Even good ol' Ehrgeiz can't protect my hands…"  
  
Kneeling down, Zell kissed his wound, not wanting to run to Dr. Kadowaki like a junior student would.  
  
"No need for a doctor," Zell assured himself, taken aback by how painful his seemingly minor injury really was.  
  
Blue eyes bold and daring, Zell started intently at the base of the tree, a wave of anger coming over him. He knew how he wasn't supposed to get hurt. He knew that a mere scratch could turn into a critical injury.  
  
"Damn you," Zell whispered, threads of rage interweaving through his curses.  
  
Standing up from his crouching position, Zell glared at the tree once more. Placing all of his balance into his right foot, he swung his left leg out in one, graceful motion. His foot crashed through the tree trunk with the speed and power of a dragon, splitting the thin tree in half.  
  
Looking down at what he did, Zell glanced at his foot, which was miraculously protected by his shoe.  
  
"Thank Hyne," Zell whispered, forcing a sad smile.  
  
Turning to leave, Zell grabbed his right glove from his pocket, and sheathed it gently over his right hand. Strapping the straps carefully, not wanting to hurt the injuries that decorated his hand like painful ornaments.  
  
"Hey Zell," a familiar voice called out coyly from a thick group of trees and tropical plants near the gate to the Training Center.  
  
Looking up from his hand, Zell's blue eyes started intently into the brush, desperately wanting to put a face to the voice that called his name.  
  
"Yeah?" Zell called out, raising a pale eyebrow in confusion.  
  
A figure came to the voice as the quiet leather-clad swordsman emerged from the brush. It was Squall.  
  
"What's up?" Squall asked, his stormy eyes shining in the soft sunlight that gingerly touched his pale skin.  
  
"Notta' damn thing," Zell replied, placing his hands in his pockets. He wanted to act casual around Squall, even though he knew about his homosexual relationship with Seifer. "How about you?"  
  
Squall shook his head, smiling sadly. "Nothin' here," he said quietly.  
  
Pacing himself, Squall made his way over to the tattooed blonde, his sad smile faltering a bit as he did.  
  
Zell stiffened when Squall placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He knew Squall was gay, and now he was touching his shoulder.  
  
"Yeah…So what brings you to the Training Center?" Zell asked, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled ever since Squall had put his hand on Zell's strong shoulder.  
  
"Actually, I was looking for you. I caught Rinoa out in the hall, and she told me she was looking for you. It seems that she really wants to talk to you, Zell…" Squall trailed off, smiling slightly as a blush came over Zell's cheeks. He removed his hand from Zell's shoulder, placing it on his hip instead.  
  
"So…you figured I was in the Training Center, huh," Zell said softly, looking into the stormy eyes of his taciturn friend.  
  
"That's where you're always at," Squall replied with a weak laugh. "Either here or at the Cafeteria, standing in line for those hot dogs you love so much."  
  
Zell flashed his canines at Squall. His blue eyes were shining like sapphires as the golden sunlight shined down on them gently from above.  
  
Squall bowed his head, wondering what else to say. He was feeling a little attracted to Zell, even though he was truly in love with Seifer.  
  
"You're cute, Zell," Squall said with a feeble smile. His eyes were warm when he said this, rather than cold. He looked into Zell's blue eyes, his smile still weak.  
  
"Uh…thanks," Zell mumbled, his cheeks turning a violent shade of red.  
  
Squall laughed at Zell's embarrassment, shaking his head in a desperate attempt to calm down his fit of laughter.  
  
"You're just too cute," Squall replied as his smile widened.  
  
"Squall…I know," Zell said quietly with a nod.  
  
"You know what?" Squall asked stupidly, knowing exactly what his spiky-haired friend meant.  
  
"I know that you're gay. And I know Seifer's gay, too. You love him, don't you?" Zell managed, surprised at how smooth the words had come out.  
  
"…How did you find out?" Squall asked finally after a strange silence settled down upon the two friends.  
  
"Rinoa," Zell said, offering a small smile. "She told me everything. She told me how she found Seifer in your closet…And how you and Seifer didn't want to hurt her."  
  
"Are you…pissed at me?" Squall inquired, cocking his neck to the side.  
  
"No," Zell replied shortly. "Just surprised. I had no idea you were gay."  
  
"I guess that's a compliment," Squall said with a laugh.  
  
Zell nodded, looking up at the beautiful cerulean sky with those gorgeous blue eyes of his.  
  
"Your eyes are beautiful," Squall commented.  
  
Zell looked at Squall, smiling. His blue eyes were truly beautiful. As deep and blue as the ocean.  
  
"Are you trying to make a move on me?" he joked.  
  
"Maybe," Squall joked back, laughing.  
  
"But anyway, do you know where Rinoa's at now?" Zell asked, a sad smile crawling across his lips.  
  
"She's probably at the Cafeteria, eating breakfast…" Squall trailed off, noticing Zell's sudden sadness. "You seem sad about something. Is something going on?"  
  
"Nah," Zell lied, smiling at Squall. "I'm fine. Really."  
  
"Okay…" Squall said with a nod.  
  
"Come on, Squall," Zell replied with a grin. "I'm Zell! I can get through anything. Don't worry about me so much."  
  
Squall nodded, forcing a smile. His stormy eyes looked into Zell's beautiful blue eyes with trust, yet also with care.  
  
"I know," Squall murmured, wondering why Zell was sad. He could see the sadness in those gorgeous blue eyes. If only he could find out why.  
  
"Yeah…" Zell trailed off, taking a step back. "Well, I guess I should go. Ah…I should go find Rinoa or…something…."  
  
Squall watched as Zell prepared to leave the Training Center, his footsteps casual yet swift. Squall could tell that Zell was in a hurry.  
  
"Zell!" Squall called out to him, taking a step forward, desperately wanting to find out what was going on in Zell's mind.  
  
Zell turned, a strange sadness deep within his blue eyes.  
  
"Yeah?" he mumbled, wanting to just run away from it all. He really didn't want anyone to find out about his…  
  
Squall took a few footsteps closer to Zell, a look of care coming across his pale face. "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing…" Zell lied, biting down on his bottom lip.  
  
"Damn it Zell, tell me! Tell me what's going on!" Squall cried, determined to get to the bottom of Zell's sadness.  
  
"Squall…" Zell trailed off, letting out a sad sigh. "Squall, please don't make me tell you."  
  
"Just me," Squall whispered. "You don't have to tell anyone else. Just…please, tell me…"  
  
"…Just you?" Zell asked, his voice rich with hope.  
  
"Of course," Squall soothed, forcing a smile.  
  
"Only because…You're my best friend," Zell said with a small smile. "So you have a right to know."  
  
"…What is it?" Squall inquired, taking another step closer to Zell, to where he was only a foot away from him.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki told me…" Zell trailed off, fighting the tears. His eyes moistened, and his lips quivered. Squall knew he wanted to cry.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki told you what?" Squall inquired, placing a hand gently on Zell's shoulder.  
  
"She told me that…that I'm sick," Zell managed, losing his battle against his tears. They came down his face like rivers. His beautiful blue oceans were letting rivers trail down that gorgeous face of his.  
  
"What…what kind of sickness do you have?" Squall asked, not bothering to hide the sadness and fear in his voice.  
  
"I have…I have it, Squall," Zell said, letting the tears come down his face. He didn't bother wiping at them. He didn't care who saw him crying.  
  
"What do you have?" Squall asked, wiping at the tears that were swelling up in his eyes.  
  
"…Hemophilia…" Zell whispered, an eerie silence falling over the two friends.  
  
"…Is it fatal?" Squall asked dumbly, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer or not.  
  
"A…a little scratch can kill me," Zell murmured, his beautiful blue eyes pink with tears. He looked at Squall, a look of desperation on his tear-stained face.  
  
"Are you hurt?" Squall asked, noticing how Zell winced when he brought his right hand out of his pocket.  
  
"…Yes," Zell admitted, bringing his left hand out of his pocket without any trouble.  
  
"Then let me heal you," Squall said, moving his hand from Zell's shoulder to his right hand. "I'll heal you, okay?"  
  
"It won't do any good," Zell replied, shaking his head.  
  
"You never know until you try," Squall declared, forcing a smile.  
  
"…Thank you," Zell whispered, watching intently as Squall wrapped both of his hands around Zell's large and powerful right hand.  
  
"I have a couple Cura spells," Squall revealed. "Do you think Cura would handle it?"  
  
"Take a look for yourself," Zell said, eyeing his right hand.  
  
Squall nodded, and then took off the powerful glove that had sheathed Zell's right hand.  
  
Squall looked at the bright red scratches and dried blood decorating Zell's wounded hand. He rose his eyebrows at the large reddish bruise that swelled like an angry eye on his knuckles.  
  
"Damn…" Squall whispered.  
  
"Can Cura handle it?" Zell asked desperately.  
  
"Of course it can," Squall said in reply, shocked at how badly wounded Zell's hand was even with his Ehrgeiz on.  
  
"Heal it," Zell murmured.  
  
Nodding, Squall gently held Zell's right hand, and whispered a few chants. He closed his eyes in concentration, wanting oh so badly to heal the wound that had frightened Zell so badly.  
  
"You'll live, Zell…" Squall soothed.  
  
A light blue aura radiated from Zell's hand as the Cura spell took it's toll, sending waves of warmth up Zell's arm.  
  
Both blue and stormy eyes looked at the wounded hand in hope as the aura faded. When the aura had gone completely, and the Cura spell was over, they saw that the hand had healed. It was a miracle.  
  
"…Thank you," Zell whispered, grinning in rapture. "Thank you so much, Squall!"  
  
Zell flung his arms around Squall's neck, placing his cheek on Squall's chest. They embraced. Squall knew that there wasn't anything romantic about the hug. It was a friendly hug. One of friendship and relief. Zell was just thanking Squall for healing him.  
  
"You're gonna' be okay," Squall whispered, hugging Zell back. "It's gonna' be all right."  
  
A few moments later, Zell took a step back, grinning at Squall. Flashing those adorable canines, Zell tilted his head up at the brunette swordsman, placing his right hand back in its powerful glove.  
  
"I'll be more careful from now on," Zell revealed, his grin faltering into a joyous smile. "Thanks again."  
  
"It was no big deal, really. I'm just glad you're okay," Squall said.  
  
Zell just smiled, nodding. "Well, I guess I'm gonna' go…You said Rinoa was looking for me, so I don't wanna' get her all worked up or anything."  
  
"Yeah…And it's about time I go lookin' for Seifer. I don't want him to get in trouble or anything," Squall said, wondering where his boyfriend could be.  
  
"Good look on finding Seifer," Zell replied, his blue eyes filled with happiness again. "And thanks again!"  
  
Squall nodded politely as he watched Zell leave the Training Center in his customary run, with the speed and endurance of a cheetah.  
  
Zell ran down the halls of Garden with the happiness of a schoolboy. He didn't care if he looked childish or not. Squall had healed him, and he couldn't be happier.  
  
"Now I just hafta' find Rinoa…" Zell said to himself. "And ask her why she was actin' so strange around me last night…"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	4. Kiss Me

Chapter Four: Kiss Me  
  
"Squall still hasn't found him yet…" Rinoa trailed off, wondering where her precious Zell Dincht could possibly be.  
  
Letting out a soft sigh, Rinoa placed her small hands on the edge of railing, looking out at the beautiful scenery from the 2F Balcony. Wide green plains, and skies azure danced in unison, with fluffy white clouds floating gracefully above the horizon.  
  
"Zell…" Rinoa whispered, thoughts of the athletic blonde coming into her head. "Do I…Do I love you, Zell?"  
  
Her raven hair fluttered around her head like a black butterfly, the soft spring breeze getting slightly violent as she wondered what feelings were going on in her heart. What was this she was feeling? Was it Love?  
  
Grasping desperately at the silver pendant that lie neatly around her neck, Rinoa looked up at the skies, wishing that she could come to terms with the maelstrom of feelings that danced within her heart.  
  
"Come on, Zell…" Rinoa quietly pleaded, wanting oh so badly to talk to her spiky-haired friend.  
  
"Rinoa?" a familiar voice asked from behind her.  
  
Turning, Rinoa couldn't help but smile as she saw Zell standing in the open doorway, one hand touching at the frame of the doorway, holding himself up, while his other hand sat casually in his left pocket.  
  
"Zell…" Rinoa trialed off, smiling sweetly. "Did Squall find you?"  
  
"Yeah," Zell said, walking over to his raven-haired friend. "He told me you were looking for me. So what's up?"  
  
"I…Zell, I…" Rinoa stammered. She just didn't know what to say. All thoughts left her mind. All she could see was this handsome, blonde man standing before her. She bit her bottom lip softly, preventing any compliments that wanted to spew from her mouth.  
  
"Rinoa…" Zell murmured, leaning on the railing beside her, looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his. "Why were you acting so strange around me last night?"  
  
"…Strange?" Rinoa mumbled, feeling her cheeks turn warm with embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, strange," Zell replied. "Last night you were just…Acting all…spazzed-out and shit. Like you were a girl from Dollet or something. What's up with that? Somethin' on your mind?"  
  
"…Zell," Rinoa said, looking up into the beautiful blue eyes of her muscular friend. "I…I have a confession to make."  
  
"What's that?" Zell asked, apparently clueless as to what her confession could possibly be.  
  
"A confession," Rinoa repeated. "I have something…that I need to tell you. It's important."  
  
"What is it?" Zell inquired.  
  
"…I…I think I might…have feelings for you, Zell…" Rinoa revealed, threads of fear and suspense interweaving throughout her confession of love.  
  
"…What kinds of feelings?" Zell asked dumbly, not really sure what Rinoa had meant.  
  
"…Love," Rinoa whispered. "I think I might love you…"  
  
Zell rose his pale eyebrows in shock at her statement.  
  
"Love, huh…" he murmured.  
  
Rinoa nodded, a look of hope coming into her lovely brown eyes.  
  
"I…I really don't think that's a good idea," Zell mumbled, shaking his head.  
  
"…Why not?" Rinoa asked. "Don't you have…any feelings for me?"  
  
"Of course I do," Zell replied. "You're like…one of my best friends. Of course I love you. But…but me and you? It just wouldn't work out."  
  
Rinoa fought at the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks.  
  
"And why not? What…what's so *wrong* about the two of us together?" Rinoa asked, desperate to find an answer to Zell's refusal of her affections  
  
"…Only Squall's supposed to know," Zell groaned, not wanting to tell Rinoa about his sickness.  
  
"Only Squall's supposed to know what?" Rinoa demanded, touching Zell's shoulder with a small hand. "Tell me…"  
  
"I have Hemophilia…" Zell trailed off, looking down at Rinoa with those beautiful blue eyes of his.  
  
"…Hemophilia?" Rinoa whispered, not really sure what the disease could do to a person.  
  
"I bleed easily," Zell murmured. "A simple scratch can turn into a critical injury if I don't take care of it…"  
  
Rinoa shook her head, forcing a false smile.  
  
"Oh, but Zell…" she replied, her voice rich with artificial happiness. "We…we have plenty of spells here. Dr. Kadowaki always has a few Curaga spells for when they're needed…And she has Elixirs, too…You'll be fine!"  
  
Zell shook his head, fighting the tears that swelled up within his eyes.  
  
"No," Zell mumbled. "It just won't work. Squall had to use a *Cura* spell for some pathetic scratches on my hand…I had Ehgreiz on and I punched a tree. And…and it like mangled my entire hand. What if I break my arm? Then what'll happen? It's…it's just not worth it…"  
  
Rinoa shook her head, not wanting to listen to what Zell was telling her. She quietly begged Hyne that he was just playing a sick joke on her. But he wasn't.  
  
"Zell…Zell…" Rinoa whispered. She just didn't know what to say.  
  
Flinging her arms around Zell's strong neck, Rinoa hugged him tightly, wanting oh so badly for him to get better. Rinoa smiled as Zell's powerful arms wrapped around her slender waist, holding her close. She knew it wasn't a romantic hug, but she didn't complain. It was a warm embrace of friendship that left the two of them filled with a strange happiness that couldn't be explained. It truly was comforting.  
  
"…You'll be fine," Rinoa replied. "You really will. You're so strong Zell. Something like this won't keep you down."  
  
"If I'm careful I'll be okay," Zell said. "But…but if something really bad happens…Then…I…I might…"  
  
"Don't say it," Rinoa whispered, silencing Zell's melancholic words.  
  
"…I…I guess we can…stop hugging, huh?" Zell joked, offering a coy smile.  
  
Rinoa let out a small laugh, slightly surprised at how well Zell was taking the situation.  
  
"But I don't want to…" she murmured, looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes.  
  
"I…I don't know," Zell mumbled. "I don't know if I love you, Rinoa. I'm sorry."  
  
"…But…why not? I…I just don't understand…" Rinoa trailed off, biting her bottom lip to prevent herself from crying in front of Zell.  
  
"I don't know," Zell repeated. "I might love you. Hell, I *do* love you. But as a…really close friendship kinda' love. I'm not sure about anything romantic."  
  
"Zell…You're the one who's healing my heart. You…you have to keep doing it for me. And…and I can help your wounds heal. Please, Zell…Do this for me. I'm begging you…" Rinoa pleaded, looking up at Zell while streams of tears flowed down her cheeks.  
  
Wiping away at her tears, Zell offered Rinoa a small smile.  
  
"…Maybe," he replied.  
  
"I…I want to try," Rinoa whispered, a strange note of seriousness in those five, simple words.  
  
"…" Zell was taken aback by the realness of the situation.  
  
"Let me," Rinoa murmured. "If Squall can do things with Seifer, than I can do things with you. His cruelty won't keep my heart broken forever."  
  
"…Rinoa," Zell mumbled, a confused smile playing on his lips.  
  
Reaching up, Rinoa took Zell's lips in a soft kiss, her tongue lightly caressing his. He didn't fight back. In fact, he liked it. He liked the sweet taste of honey that coated Rinoa's soft tongue. She kissed him tenderly, her tongue gently stroking his.  
  
When the kiss ended, Zell simply looked down at his dark-haired friend. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"…How was that?" Rinoa whispered, her pink lips curving into a small smile.  
  
"…Wow," Zell whispered, shocked at how Rinoa had just kissed him like that.  
  
"I guess you liked it," Rinoa said with a small giggle.  
  
Zell nodded, and then stiffened when he felt Rinoa's arms tighten around his slender waist.  
  
"…I wanna' kiss you again," Rinoa replied. "I wanna' be with you, Zell…I wanna' be with you forever. You're healing my broken heart…So let me heal your wounds. Please…"  
  
"…We…we can try," Zell murmured. "We'll give it a try."  
  
Rinoa's small smile evolved into a joyous grin when Zell invited her into a relationship.  
  
"Oh, Zell!" Rinoa cried out happily, hugging her new beau tightly.  
  
Reacting to the warm embrace, Zell tightened his grip around Rinoa's lithe waist, a cheery smile playing over his lips.  
  
"This feels good," Zell admitted, placing his chin on Rinoa's shoulder.  
  
"It does," Rinoa agreed in her sweet voice, relieved at how Zell had healed her broken heart.  
  
She knew it wasn't a real relationship. It was just a test. If it worked out, then it would turn into a real relationship…Zell was doing this just for her. He didn't want her heart to stay broken forever.  
  
"This…this is a test!" she cried out, happily. "And if we pass it, then we'll stay together."  
  
Zell simply nodded.  
  
"So…so will you?" Rinoa inquired, admiring the beauty of Zell's face and the exotic design of his facial tattoo.  
  
"Will I what?" Zell asked, wondering what it was she wanted him to do.  
  
"Kiss me," Rinoa murmured, a small smile playing on her lips.  
  
Surprised at how badly Rinoa wanted to be kissed, Zell simply smiled. It felt good to be so close to someone as beautiful and charming as Rinoa.  
  
And after a brief moment of taking in the moment, Zell leaned down, kissed his new lover gently on the lips.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	5. It's Just A Crush

Chapter Five: It's Just A Crush  
  
Seifer looked at his lover, sky-blue eyes misty with curiosity. He knew something was bothering Squall. He could tell by the blank expression in his face…The lifeless gleam in his stormy eyes.  
  
"…Something bothering you?" Seifer asked, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen in the large and relatively quiet dorm.  
  
"…Why do you ask?" Squall inquired, looking at Seifer with those mysterious hazel eyes that he had fallen in love with.  
  
"I can tell something's wrong. What is it?" Seifer questioned, a look of curiosity spreading across his face like an epidemic.  
  
"…I said I wouldn't tell," Squall murmured. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone."  
  
"Not even me?" Seifer asked, his lips curving into a small frown. He was upset that Squall wasn't willing to tell him what was bringing him down so much.  
  
"I'm sorry," Squall mumbled. "I really am. I just…I just can't tell. I'd be going back on my word. And…I can't do that."  
  
Seifer nodded, his sky-blue eyes filled with concern.  
  
"I understand," he lied, wishing deep down that Squall would come clean and tell him what was on his mind.  
  
Just as Seifer got up to return to the kitchen of his dorm, he felt a cold hand grab at his arm. Turning, he smiled a sad smile down at Squall.  
  
Squall looked up into his sky-blue eyes, a look of sadness apparent on his pale face.  
  
"…If you promise not to tell," Squall whispered, desperate to keep Zell's secret as reticent as he possibly could.  
  
"Of course," Seifer replied, sitting down on the leathery couch beside his brunette lover.  
  
"It's Zell," Squall mumbled. "Zell…he…He's sick."  
  
Squall looked at Seifer with watery eyes, losing his battle against the tears that raged within his mysterious eyes.  
  
"…What do you mean?" Seifer inquired, not even bothering to hide the fear and suspense that was evident in his simple question.  
  
"He…he has Hemophilia," Squall whispered. "Hemophilia!"  
  
"…He bleeds easy?" Seifer asked dumbly, already knowing the answer.  
  
"Yes," Squall murmured. "He…he bleeds *very* easily…I had to use a damn Cura spell on a few scratches on his hand…"  
  
"Holy shit…" Seifer trailed off, a lifeless expression on his face.  
  
Zell Dincht…He was easily the most courageous fighter at Garden. He was always willing to fight, even against unbelievable odds. He was so brave…Everyone looked up to him, even though they laughed at him because of his hyperactive lifestyle, which many found to be quite enthusiastic.  
  
"…So what if something *really* bad happens, Seif…?" Squall inquired, a hopeless look obvious in his stormy eyes.  
  
He really wanted to hear Seifer give an answer, even though he already knew the answer, deep down.  
  
"Then…he'll probably die," Seifer murmured, not bothering to fake a lie to make Squall happy. He was all about honesty to his lover, even if it killed him.  
  
"No!" Squall cried, throwing his arm around the powerful neck of his lover. "No, not Zell! Zell can't die! He just can't!"  
  
Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall's slender waist, holding him in a warm embrace.  
  
"I know…I know, Squall…" he soothed, gently rubbing Squall's cold back.  
  
"But…what if he does?" Squall asked hopelessly, resting his head on Seifer's broad chest. "What if he dies…? Then what…?"  
  
"He won't die, Squall…" Seifer murmured, resting his chin on Squall's emotionally weak shoulder.  
  
Looking up through teary eyes, Squall could vaguely see Seifer looking down on him with those crystalline eyes of his. Squall forced a sad smile, his bottom lip quivering while the tears slowly poured down his face.  
  
"Don't cry," Seifer whispered. "Don't waste your tears like that. Zell's gonna' be just fine…"  
  
Squall nodded, his smile widening a bit has he rose up, kneeling up from his position on the couch, a strange look evident in his stormy eyes.  
  
"What?" Seifer inquired dumbly, his lips curving into a small smile.  
  
"…Damn you," Squall growled, rising up swiftly to capture Seifer's lips in a hungry kiss. Not a violent kiss, but a sweet kiss. Sweet and passionate, yet a strange feeling of friendliness to it.  
  
After the kiss ended, Squall looked into Seifer's eyes once more, a strange sense of sadness coming into his tear-stained eyes.  
  
"I…I'm sorry," Squall whispered.  
  
"Don't be," Seifer replied, forcing a small smile.  
  
"No," Squall murmured. "Zell's sick, and here we are fucking like horn-dogs."  
  
"…It was a kiss," Seifer joshed, grinning.  
  
"This is no time to be funny," Squall mumbled.  
  
"…I'm sorry," Seifer murmured, his voice rich with sincerity.  
  
"…I can't believe I just did that," Squall replied, getting off of the couch, leaving his lover cold  
  
"It was just a kiss," Seifer said, standing up, desperate to comfort his uneasy beau.  
  
"No!" Squall cried. "Just because you get a hard-on every fucking time I touch you doesn't mean you hafta' be so horny now."  
  
"Wait…wait a minute here," Seifer declared, desperate to defend his pride. "Who made the first move?"  
  
"Did you do *anything* to stop me?!" Squall cried, turning to look at Seifer with a look of hate on that pale face of his.  
  
"No," Seifer admitted. "I didn't see any reason too. Zell's sick, but does that mean we have to stop loving each other?"  
  
"You're…you're a perve," Squall said with a laugh. "Well it'll just have to be your hand now., 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna put up with this anymore."  
  
"And what did *I* do?!" Seifer demanded, pointing at himself, his sky- blue eyes filled with a furious passion.  
  
"Nothing," Squall murmured. "Absolutely nothing."  
  
Seifer laughed mockingly at Squall.  
  
"And that's just it. You've done nothing. I tried to confide in you about Zell, and…and then you looked at me. I saw that look in your eyes. If I didn't kiss you, you sure as hell would've kissed me," Squall exploded, his voice rich with anger.  
  
"Why are you so fuckin' concerned about Zell in the first place? You used to always act like he was so annoying, and now you're goin' crazy over him. What's up with that?" Seifer demanded, equally as angry as Squall.  
  
"Maybe I love Zell more than you," Squall hissed, a look of rage swelling up within his eyes.  
  
"…Bitch," Seifer laughed, trying to hide the pain that swirled sadly within his broken heart.  
  
"I'm sorry," Squall said. His voice sounded hollow. Even to his ears. "I just can't help the way I feel."  
  
"…I can't believe you," Seifer murmured, not caring if his pain escaped his throat or not.  
  
Squall let out a sad sigh. He knew he was being cruel. More than just cruel…He was breaking Seifer's heart. Just like he broke Rinoa's heart. Would he ever be satisfied?  
  
"All I can say is that I'm sorry," Squall said. "And that's it. I can't deny my feelings for Zell. I really think I love him. I hugged him today."  
  
"You what?!" Seifer cried.  
  
"It was a friendly hug," Squall replied. "But I liked it. I liked it allot. I wanna' hug him again. I wanna' do more than just hug him."  
  
"He's straight," Seifer growled between gritted teeth. "There's no way he'd be interseted in you."  
  
"That's fine," Squall murmured. "It's better to just be around Zell as a friend than to be your bitch."  
  
"It's just a crush," Seifer hissed.  
  
"And that's exactly what this was," Squall muttered.  
  
"What was that?" Seifer demanded.  
  
"You heard me," Squall snapped. "This was just a crush. That's all it ever was."  
  
"…" Seifer was speechless. Squall smiled at Seifer one last time. A sad smile…One that Seifer would remember forever. And so, Seifer watched as Squall left, breaking his heart while he did.  
  
Squall left Seifer's dorm. He left that day, and never returned. He knew he had just broken Seifer's heart, but he knew Seifer never really loved him. It was all for the sex. If Squall didn't give in, then Seifer would hurt him. Seifer really was a cruel person, yet he hid it so well with his flamboyant attitude and charismatic smile.  
  
Squall couldn't help but feel a wave relief crash into him as he left Seifer's dorm, a joyous smile spreading across his lips. Happiness radiated from his pale face like light from the sun. It was a nice change from his usually taciturn attitude, which Seifer had tied him down to.  
  
He was going to explain his feelings to Zell…Even if it hurt Rinoa…Even if it hurt Seifer…Even if it hurt himself…  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	6. I Think I Love You

1 Author's Notes  
  
Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm busy working on my Resident Evil fanfic! Please understand. My next chapter'll be longer, okay? Okay. Enjoy!  
  
* * * * *  
  
Chapter Six: I Think I Love You  
  
"Damn…That was kinda' sudden…" Zell mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked back to his dorm late that afternoon.  
  
He let out a soft sigh, letting his beautiful blue eyes fall down to the floor, watching his feet as he walked casually back to the Dormitory.  
  
"Why did Rinoa want me to kiss her? And why did I do it? What the hell's going on? I haven't been myself lately…" Zell murmured as his mind traced the events that happened an hour ago on the 2F Balcony.  
  
"Zell!" a familiar voice cried out from the Dormitory that lay a few good yards away.  
  
"Yeah?" Zell called out, stopping dead in his tracks.  
  
Quiet foosteps sounded on the marble floor as Zell looked up, blue eyes staring into the distance, desperate to put a face to that cool voice.  
  
It was Squall.  
  
"What's up?" Squall asked, pushing his hands into his pockets, trying his best to act casual.  
  
"Nothin' much," Zell lied.  
  
Squall simply nodded, letting his stormy eyes look down at the marble floor.  
  
"What's on your mind?" Zell inquired, tilting his head up at his pale- faced friend.  
  
"I…I have to talk to you," Squall murmured, looking into the gorgeous blue eyes that complimented Zell's face so well.  
  
"I figured," Zell said with a laugh.  
  
"But not here," Squall replied. "Can we…can we talk in private? Somewhere…?"  
  
"Ooooh, a secret?" Zell joked, playfully rolling his eyes.  
  
"Yeah," Squall murmured, looking back at the Dormitory, wondering if Seifer could see him and Zell talking.  
  
"Well we can go to the dorms or something," Zell suggested.  
  
"No," Squall stated. "No, we can't do that. Uh…is the Cafeteria busy this time of the day?"  
  
"The Cafeteria's busy every time of the day," Zell replied, forcing a smile.  
  
"You're right," Squall admitted. "Damn."  
  
"We can go to the Library," Zell declared. "The Library's never busy."  
  
Squall smiled, nodding in agreement to Zell's clever suggestion.  
  
"Let's go," Squall murmured. "It's important."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Library was empty, just as Zell had thought. None of the students really cared for reading much, and so the large supply of books that Headmaster Cid ordered monthly was basically nothing but a lost cause.  
  
Hopping onto a nearby table, Zell folded his arms across his muscular chest.  
  
"So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" he inquired.  
  
"…Us," Squall murmured.  
  
"Us?" Zell repeated, raising a pale eyebrow up at his brunette friend.  
  
"Yeah," Squall declared. "That hug you gave me…when I healed you? It…it meant allot to me."  
  
"Well me too," Zell revealed.  
  
"Really?" Squall asked, his voice rich with hopefulness.  
  
"Sure," Zell said. "I mean…you saved me. And it…it felt so good to be healed. And so I hugged you. It meant allot to me, though. Don't get me wrong. I'm really glad it was you."  
  
"…You're glad," Squall said dumbly, his lips curving into a small smile.  
  
"Yup," Zell stated. "So like…is that all you had to say?"  
  
"…" Squall was speechless. What *was* it that he wanted to tell Zell?  
  
"…Or not," Zell replied, grinning.  
  
"…I…I broke up with Seifer," Squall revealed.  
  
Zell jumped up, throwing his hands away from his chest as he did.  
  
"What?!" he cried.  
  
"I dumped him," Squall murmured. "He…he just…he didn't understand me. I can't believe it took me so long to realize."  
  
"…Well good for you!" Zell cheered, playfully punching Squall in the arm. "I'm happy for ya'."  
  
"You are?" Squall inquired, surprised.  
  
"Of course! I mean…I never really liked Seifer much. Such a smart- ass. Yeah, he really thought he was somethin' special. Always thinkin' he was so big and tough when a single punch from me could knock him out cold," Zell said.  
  
"Yeah…" Squall trailed off, looking deep into Zell's gorgeous blue eyes.  
  
"…Uh…dude?" Zell murmured, raising a pale eyebrow at his taciturn friend. "You're…you're lookin' at me all weird and shit…"  
  
"Oh," Squall mumbled. "Sorry, sorry…"  
  
"…You have somethin' else to tell me, don't you?" Zell asked, tilting his head to the side.  
  
"…Yeah," Squall whispered. "I…It's gonna' seem awkward."  
  
"Surprise, surprise," Zell joked. "Come on, now. Out with it, boy!"  
  
"…I think…I think I…" Squall stammered.  
  
It was much more difficult than he had originally thought. He thought it would just magically slip out, and then the two of them would live happily ever after. It wasn't anything like that.  
  
"You think you…?" Zell repeated, holding out his hands in confusion.  
  
"I think I…have feelings for you," Squall admitted, bowing his head in shame.  
  
"…Love?" Zell asked, taken aback by Squall's statement of affection.  
  
"Yeah," Squall replied. "I think I love you. I don't know why or how it happened, but…I'm just telling you what my heart feels."  
  
"…I…I don't know what to say," Zell managed. "I really don't."  
  
"…Do you feel the same way?" Squall inquired, desperate to become the holder of Zell's heart.  
  
"…No," Zell mumbled. "I really don't. I love you as a friend, but that's it. I'm not gay, Squall…"  
  
Squall felt the tears swelling up within his stormy eyes. Squall had never cried in his life, but he was getting fearfully close to it now. His bottom lip quivered as he wiped his eyes with his forearm, shaking his head in embarrassment.  
  
"…I'm sorry," Zell murmured. "I really am."  
  
"…No," Squall whispered. "Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry about."  
  
Zell nodded, a look of sympathy crawling across his handsome face. He looked at Squall with concern, desperately wanting his friend to cheer up.  
  
Since it was the only thing left to do, Zell wrapped his arms around Squall, bringing him into a warm embrace. Once again, they were hugging. But it was merely a friendly hug. A hug that told Squall that Zell really cared…A hug that made Squall want Zell even more, even though Zell was straight.  
  
Why did Squall want Zell so bad? What was so special about this spiky-haired blonde that most thought of as an immature teen? Even Squall didn't know, but it broke his heart to know that Zell wasn't interested in him in *that* kinda' way…  
  
TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R 


	7. Rejected

****

Author's Notes

I don't think this chapter's any longer but it is of _MAJOR_ importance to the story! Absolutely no PWP here! Please enjoy.

* * * * *

****

Chapter Seven: Rejected

"So _there_ you are…" Rinoa murmured, a small smile coming over her lips as she strolled over to a sulking Zell.

Zell turned away from his view of Balamb Garden from the Secret Area. He forced a sad smile, a sadness could be seen in his beuatiful blue eyes. Rinoa found it strangely sexy.

"I've been looking all over for you," Rinoa revealed, eyeing Zell as she walked up to him. "We haven't seen each other…"

"For hours," Zell replied, finishing Rinoa's sentence for her.

"…Exactly," Rinoa said, smiling warmly. "…I've missed you."

"…It's only been a few hours…" Zell mumbled, looking away from the raven-haired beauty, adjusting his eyes to the brilliant lights of Garden at night.

"So you didn't miss me?" Rinoa inquired, her voice filled with hurt.

"…I don't know," Zell groaned, annoyed at how Rinoa was staying around.

She was pestering him, as if she were a three-year-old child or something. He wanted to just swat her away like one would do to an insect.

"…I…I need you," Rinoa murmured, looking up at Zell with teary eyes.

"…Why me?" Zell asked, his voice rich with disgust. "I'm not anything special. There's plenty of guys out there who'd love to have you…All of them better than me. All of them…"

Rinoa looked at Zell with a hurtful look. She couldn't believe her ears.

"What…what are you saying?" Rinoa managed, her voice shaking as she fought the tears.

"This…this whole _relationship_ thing…It's not working," Zell replied. "You're using me, aren't you?"

"I'm…_using_ you?! Why the _hell_ would I do something like that?!" Rinoa cried, taken aback by Zell's accusation.

"To get back at Squall," Zell said coolly, as if it didn't mean anything to him. "He used Seifer for you…and you're using me for him…You…you two deserve each other."

"I…Zell?! Zell, why are saying these…_horrible_ things?!" Rinoa demanded, her voice rich with pain.

"Are the true?" Zell asked, his voice as smooth as silk.

"…Zell, I…Zell…" was all that Rinoa could say. She knew Zell was right. He had caught onto this little game she was playing.

_She was playing with his heart._

"It's true…" Zell mumbled, a strange grin crawling across his sensual lips.

"…Zell, I'm…" Rinoa breathed, her voice barely above a whisper.

Zell simply shook his head, his grin never faltering. But by the look in his eyes, Rinoa could tell he was hurt.

"…I'm…sorry, Zell…" Rinoa managed, rubbing a nervous hand through her soft black hair.

"And…and I have Hemophilia," Zell muttered. "And you…did this to me. How…could you?"

"…Zell, I…I _do_ care about you…"

"Like hell you do!" Zell cried, a warm tear trailing down his right cheek. "You fucking _used_ me to get back at your ex! And…he's _gay!_ That makes me feel like…just any other guy! You're…you're sick…"

"…Zell…just…calm down…" Rinoa whispered, a lustful gaze appearing in those dark eyes of hers.

"Oh…oh so now you're…gonna' _kiss_ me again?!" Zell exclaimed, the furious flame within his blue eyes burning vividly.

"…" Rinoa didn't say a word. Neither did Zell.

They stood in absolute silence for a few moments, and then Rinoa reached up to wrap her arms around the spiky-haired youth.

Rinoa expected to receive a warm embrace, yet instead she received nothing but humiliation.

"Get away from me," Zell demanded, his voice as cold as ice.

"…Hmm?" Rinoa hummed, her voice sweeter than honey. She knew what Zell had said, yet she continued hugging him, rubbing his arms up and down his muscular back.

"You heard me," Zell snapped.

Rinoa tightened her embrace around the tattooed blonde, rocking their hips together.

"Uh…" she moaned, enjoying the sensation of her sex touching his erection through their clothes.

"Get off," Zell growled.

Rinoa let one of her hands explore a little, tracing delicate lines on Zell's shirt. She let her hand trace down to where the hem of his boxers started. Reaching down, she touched gently at his throbbing meter.

"You like that?" Rinoa asked.

That did it.

"I _said_ get the _fuck_ off me, you wench!" Zell shouted, shoving Rinoa away from him.

She stumbled back a bit before tripping over herself and following flat on her ass.

"You…you pushed a girl," Rinoa replied. "You're so cruel…"

"You were fucking trying to molest me!" Zell cried, holding up his hands in disbelief.

"Did you like it?" Rinoa inquired, smiling wickedly.

Zell rubbed a hand through his spiky locks, letting out an aggravated sigh.

"You horny ass bitch…" Zell cursed. "I can't believe I kissed you. I fuckin' feel so dirty…I'm gonna' have to wash my mouth out with soap now."

"…So…you don't…want me?" Rinoa whimpered, her voice weak from the realization that Zell was rejecting her affections.

"Not if you were the last woman on earth," Zell whispered, his voice sharper than a razor blade.

"Ugh!" Rinoa cried, giving Zell an evil look.

Zell just looked at her, an expressionless look on his handsome face.

Rinoa stepped up from her uncomfortable position on the metallic floor. Walking swiftly to the entrance to the Training Center, she gave Zell a final look.

"…I really did like you, ya' know," Rinoa added, forcing a small smile.

Zell tilted his head up at her comment.

"I'm so sure," he said sarcastically.

And with that, Rinoa left the Secret Area. She left the Training Center. She left Garden. Rinoa Heartilly had stepped out of Zell's life…and into the unknown.

"Now…I'm alone…" Zell whispered, letting his eyes fall to the floor. "All alone, now…"

Suddenly a strange image entered Zell's head. It was of Squall…and how Squall had confessed his feelings to Zell. A strange feeling swelled within the pit of Zell's stomach.

"What's…this feeling?" he asked, looking down at his well-toned muscles through the tight material. "What's going on?"

Looking up into the starry night sky, Zell let out a soft sigh. He leaned against the railing, his blue eyes shining like sapphires.

"Is this…love?" he whispered.

TO BE CONTINUED/PLZ R&R


	8. Emotions

Author's Notes: 

Here's the final chapter…Sorry if this was a short, stupid fic! I'm working on a long one now, it's called _Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number._ I'm sure you'll love that one, it's not yaoi though. O_O *Don't hurt me!* But back to _this_ story…This is the final chapter of _Emotions._ Yes, it's a songfic chapter…Zell finally finds out what he really feels for Squall…It's a sweet ending, really…I hope you enjoy it. And thank you all _so_ much for reviewing! I think I reviewed for all of you, too…I do that for whoever reviews my stories. If I didn't, then please tell me! I'm so sorry if I forgot. Now, on to the final chapter! I worked my butt off on this! (And uploaded the first chapter of _Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number_ and wrote the sequel to _Ex Girlfriend,_ called _Happy Now?_) So, yeah! Here's the final chapter. Enough of my babbling, lol. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 

The song _Emotions_ is owned by Destiny's Child. It's a beautiful song, and it's what I named my fic after. Sure, the song's sad, but…this chapter is just…quite possibly my favorite one. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and the _FF VIII_ franchise is owned by Squaresoft, and if you try to sue me then :P on you.

* * * * *

****

Chapter Eight: Emotions

__

It's over and done  
but the heartache lives on inside  
And who's the one you're clinging to  
instead of me tonight?

~ ~ ~

"Rinoa's…done with me," Zell sighed, walking sulkily back to his dorm. "I…she used me, I…really…can't believe it…It was such a…shock…"

He felt a strange sting at his eyes, realizing that he was about to cry. Did Rinoa really mean that much to him?

"The heartache…it's…so strong," Zell murmured. "I…I don't think I can take it anymore…Rinoa? Where…where the hell are you? Who are you thinking of right now? Are you…already in love with someone else? Have you…already forgotten me?"

~ ~ ~

__

And where are you now, now that I need you?  
Tears on my pillow wherever you go  
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean  
You never see me fall apart

~ ~ ~

Feeling the tears stream from his beautiful blue eyes in tragic rivers, Zell nodded sadly. "Where…did you go? I'm…sorry I got so angry…It's okay if you used me…I just need you…I'll cry you a thousand rivers…Just…come back to me…"

Holding onto the necklace that hung around his neck, Zell shivered. He felt the tears fall from his eyes like waterfalls. He wanted someone to hold so badly…

"I'll…cry a river that'll lead you, Squall…I know that…you have feelings for me, but…I just…couldn't…"

__

Squall?

Zell's eyes opened wide at himself. Did he just say "Squall?"

"Why did I…say Squall?" Zell asked, bewildered at himself for saying his best friend's name.

Zell looked up at the starry night sky, his eyes moist from tears. Shaking his head, Zell wondered what he really felt for Squall.

~ ~ ~

__

In the words of a broken heart  
It's just emotions taking me over  
Caught up in sorrow  
Lost in the song   
But if you don't come back   
Come home to me, darling  
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight  
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight

~ ~ ~

"My heart's broken," Zell said, looking into the stormy eyes of his pale-faced friend. "It's…broken in…in half. I…Rinoa she…used me…"

Zell looked away from Squall, as if he were too ashamed to look into his eyes.

Squall closed his eyes in sadness for his broken-hearted friend, embracing him into a warm hug. But unlike the other two hugs…this one had more too it. There was a certain air or romance to it. Zell wrapped his arms around Squall's waist, resting his head on his shoulder. He cried, his shoulders bobbing up and down. Squall had his arms wrapped around Zell's broad shoulders, holding him close.

"Shhh…" Squall hushed. "It'll be okay…It's just emotions…You're…sad because of what Rinoa…did to you…Just…don't pine for her. You're better than that, Zell…"

Squall backed his head away from Zell's neck, looking into the teary eyes of his close friend. "If…she doesn't come running back…then please…come home with me…my sweet baby…"

~ ~ ~

__

I'm there at your side,  
I'm part of all the things you are  
But you've got a part of someone else  
You've got to find your shining star

~ ~ ~

Zell took Squall's lips in a hungry kiss, gently probing through his mouth with his tongue, tasting at all of his mouth's features.

It was a slice of heaven that lasted for only a few seconds.

Zell broke the kiss, smiling shyly at his scarred friend. He unwrapped his arms around Squall's waste, taking a couple steps back. He felt embarrassed.

"I'm…sorry," Zell murmured. "It's just…you're…always here for me. Ever since we were kids…you're…here for me…"

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," Squall replied. "I'm…I'm part of you, Zell. And you're part of me…but…there's a little part of Rinoa blocking us away from each other…"

Zell winced at that simple name. A name he once loved.

__

Rinoa.

"It's up to you, Zell," Squall said. "It's up to you to find your way."

~ ~ ~

__

And where are you now, now that I need you?  
Tears on my pillow wherever you go  
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean  
You never see me fall apart

~ ~ ~

"Where are you?" Zell asked, looking deep into Squall's mysterious eyes. "I need you, Squall. More than I've ever needed anyone before…If…I can't be with you, I'll cry…You _healed_ me, Squall! You did!"

Squall nodded, reaching out to touch Zell's cheek gently.

"I need you just as badly, sweet baby…" Squall whispered, smiling weakly at his new lover.

Squall reached in for a warm kiss, taking the spiky-haired youth by surprise. His tongue poked into Zell's mouth, rubbing at his sweet tongue and smooth features.

After the kiss ended, Squall looked into those blue oceans that Zell had for eyes.

"If we're ever separated…then we'll cry rivers. And…our rivers'll lead to our oceans…And we'll be together again. You'll never see me let you down."

~ ~ ~

__

In the words of a broken heart  
It's just emotions taking me over  
Caught up in sorrow  
Lost in the song   
But if you don't come back   
Come home to me, darling  
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight  
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight

~ ~ ~

Squall and Zell fell onto the bed, hugging each other closely. They didn't want to lose the love they shared, the love that felt so strong.

Squall looked up at Zell with eyes that seemed hurt, and pained. Eyes of longing. "Zell?"

"Yeah?" Zell asked, looking down at Squall with his beautiful eyes.

"You…you wouldn't hurt me, would you?" he asked.

"Of course not…It was just emotions," Zell said. "Just like you said. Rinoa's not here anymore. It's just you and me."

"This…this is a love song," Squall murmured, looking up lovingly into Zell's blue eyes. "If you ever leave…then please come back to me…"?

Zell smiled, shaking his head.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'll never leave you," Zell replied.

"…Thank you," Squall said. "Now…please…love me…"

~ ~ ~

__

And where are you now, now that I need you?  
Tears on my pillow wherever you go  
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean  
You never see me fall apart

~ ~ ~

Zell sat up in bed that night, not being able to sleep. He looked over at Squall, who was sleeping like an angel.

"But…what if you leave me?" Zell whispered, forcing a sad smile. "Then what would I do? Even if I did cry a river…it'd never lead to your ocean. I…I don't think I can handle this. I can't let him see me fall apart."

~ ~ ~

In the words of a broken heart  
It's just emotions taking me over  
Caught up in sorrow  
Lost in the song   
But if you don't come back   
Come home to me, darling  
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight  
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight  
Goodnight, goodnight

~ ~ ~

"Zell?" a soft voice asked, muffled from the pillows. It was Squall.

He sat up, looking over at Zell with those stormy eyes. Even in the moonlight, Zell's beautiful blue eyes shimmered like oceans.

"Squall," Zell said softly. "I'm sorry…I must've waken you."

"No," Squall replied. "It's just…Sorry, I heard what you were saying…Our love'll last, Zell…I'd never leave you. I love you…with all my heart. I would never break your heart."

Zell nodded, smiling warmly. "Thank you…it's…really, it's just these damn emotions…"

"You were lost," Squall said.

He reached over to kiss Zell on the cheek.

"And now I've found you," he replied.

Zell reached up to touch at the cheek Squall had just kissed.

"I wouldn't dream of kissing anyone else goodnight…you're the man for me, Zell," Squall soothed, smiling at his lover.

Zell nodded, smiling a small grin.

"Thanks…Goodnight, Squall…" Zell murmured.

"Goodnight, sweet baby…" Squall said back.

COMPLETED/PLZ R&R
    
    ~ ~ ~

Additional Notes: 

Okay, I'm sorry if you thought this sucked…I tried my best! I mean, I've really never done yaoi, and I didn't want it to turn into a porno. Sorry, sorry! Don't hurt me! But…seriously, what do you people think? Please r/r…This was the last chapter, and it'd mean a great deal to me. Thank you very much.


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